250 Fat Jokes

Laughter is the best way to lift your mood—no gym required!

If you love quick-witted jokes, playful food humor, and lighthearted fun, you’re in the right place.

This collection is all about laughter, not offense—just good vibes and belly laughs.

So, sit back, relax, and enjoy these hilarious fat jokes!

Let’s start with the first 50 short and snappy ones!

1. Short & Quick Fat Jokes (One-Liners) – 50 Jokes

1. I’m on a seafood diet—I see food, and I eat it.
2. They say laughter burns calories. Guess I’m on a diet now!
3. I stepped on a scale, and it said, “To be continued…”
4. My fitness goal? To be able to tie my shoes without passing out.
5. I went to the doctor. He told me to stop eating so much fast food. Now I just eat it slowly.
6. I asked my gym trainer for advice. He said, “Try a salad.” I said, “I did. It had fried chicken in it.”
7. The only thing I lift is a fork.
8. I tried running, but the fridge was too far.
9. I eat cake because somewhere, it’s always someone’s birthday.
10. I don’t sweat—I glisten in barbecue sauce.
11. My belt isn’t a fashion statement—it’s a survival tool.
12. I’m not out of shape. Round is a shape!
13. My love for food is the most committed relationship I’ve ever had.
14. I do all my cardio… when the pizza delivery guy is outside.
15. I once tried counting calories, but I lost count at dessert.
16. My spirit animal is a buffet table.
17. I don’t eat to live—I live to eat.
18. I work out… my appetite.
19. My gym has a VIP section: the vending machine.
20. “Skip dessert” is not in my vocabulary.
21. I burn calories just thinking about working out.
22. My mirror says, “Objects may appear larger than they are.”
23. They say summer bodies are made in winter. Well, I missed that memo.
24. My jeans are just hugging me a little extra today.
25. If you can’t tone it, donut!
26. A balanced diet is a burger in both hands.
27. I’m proof that salads don’t work.
28. My favorite exercise is chewing.
29. The only thing I run for is seconds.
30. I love long walks… to the fridge.
31. “No pain, no gain?” I prefer “No cake, no joy.”
32. I’m not fat, I’m just easier to see.
33. The only six-pack I have is in my fridge.
34. I weigh myself in dog years—makes me feel better.
35. I don’t do diets—I do extra fries.
36. My relationship status? Committed to snacks.
37. I asked for abs. My body heard “extra flabs.”
38. My dream body? One that doesn’t crave midnight snacks.
39. I tried meal prepping. Now I just prep for meals.
40. My personal trainer is named “Donut.”
41. My scale must be broken—it keeps showing the same number!
42. I don’t count calories—I count bites.
43. My fridge and I have an open-door relationship.
44. The gym is like a relationship—I visit once and never go back.
45. I do intermittent fasting… between breakfast and lunch.
46. I tried jogging once. My burger fell, so I stopped.
47. My favorite bedtime routine? A snack and a nap.
48. My shadow weighs more than me.
49. I run on caffeine, carbs, and comedy.
50. My life’s motto: Eat first, think later.

2. Fat Animal Jokes – 50 Jokes

1. Why don’t fat cats play hide and seek? Because they always get found!
2. My dog is on a diet. He only eats one pizza instead of two.
3. Why did the pig sit on his food? He wanted to make pork chops.
4. My hamster ran on his wheel once. Now he just rolls.
5. Why did the fat cow start a band? Because she had the best moo-sic!
6. My cat isn’t fat. She’s just fluffy… and eats too much.
7. Why don’t hippos like scales? They already know they’re heavyweights.
8. My parrot is so fat, he doesn’t fly—he wobbles.
9. Why did the chubby dog refuse to fetch? Too many calories involved.
10. I told my goldfish to go on a diet. He just stared at me.
11. Why did the bear join the gym? To get rid of his “bear belly.”
12. My cow is so fat, even his milkshake has extra thick shakes!
13. The zoo put my turtle on a treadmill. Now he just sleeps on it.
14. Why do elephants love buffets? Because they can’t fit in a drive-thru.
15. My bunny started eating less. Just kidding—he stole my snacks!
16. Why are penguins always full? Because they’re always stuffed.
17. My dog tried a salad. He buried it instead.
18. Why did the horse eat all the hay? He wanted to be a “full” gallop!
19. My cat sat on my laptop and opened Uber Eats.
20. Why don’t cows ever diet? Because they always have beef with weight loss!
21. My hamster got stuck in his wheel. He’s now a sitting hamster.
22. Why do ducks eat so much bread? Because carbs make them quackier.
23. My pet pig is so fat, even his shadow is plus-size.
24. Why do fat owls never lose weight? Because they give a hoot about snacks!
25. My cat tried to chase a mouse… for two seconds.
26. Why did the panda eat so much bamboo? It was a cheat day—again.
27. My dog is on a seafood diet too—he eats whatever he “sees.”
28. Why do hippos never run marathons? Because they prefer buffets.
29. My cat tried jumping on the bed. Gravity disagreed.
30. Why did the alligator eat so much? Because he had a “gator” appetite!
31. My dog doesn’t fetch. He fetches food and eats it himself.
32. Why do fat rabbits never get cold? They have extra fluff for warmth.
33. My bird doesn’t fly anymore—he just waddles.
34. Why don’t cows go to yoga? They prefer “moo”-ving less.
35. My hamster sleeps more than he exercises. Goals!
36. Why did the pig eat an entire pizza? Because it was a “pig-out” session!
37. My cat asked me for a gym membership. Just kidding—he asked for snacks.
38. Why are fat pandas so chill? They take life one bamboo bite at a time.
39. My parrot learned a new word: “More.”
40. Why do penguins love buffets? They always waddle away happy.
41. My fish ate so much, he looks like a floating meatball.
42. Why do chickens get fat? They never run—unless chased.
43. My turtle started a diet. He’s still slow at losing weight.
44. Why do dogs hate portion control? Because every meal is their favorite!
45. My fat cat is on a fitness journey… from the couch to the food bowl.
46. Why do goats love snacks? They eat everything—including my lunch.
47. My horse said he’s starting a diet. He was lying.
48. Why do chubby owls always win fights? They throw their weight around.
49. My duck is so fat, he wobbles like a bowling pin.
50. Why do cows love all-you-can-eat places? Because they can really graze!

3. Self-Deprecating Fat Jokes – 50 Jokes

1. I don’t have a six-pack—I have a whole keg.
2. I tried to do a push-up once. Now I just push snacks into my mouth.
3. I told my scale, “Be honest.” It started laughing.
4. My favorite exercise? Running late.
5. I breathe heavily… even when texting.
6. I went to the gym once. The vending machine was out of order.
7. My jeans didn’t shrink. My snacks expanded.
8. I told my treadmill, “Take it easy on me.” It refused.
9. I tried yoga. The only thing I stretched was my stomach.
10. My diet is simple—if I see it, I eat it.
11. I have a complicated relationship with food. I love it. It loves me back—too much.
12. I don’t believe in cheat days. I believe in cheat years.
13. I tried running, but my body thought I was being chased.
14. I don’t need a gym. I lift snacks all day.
15. My smartwatch keeps reminding me to stand up. I told it to mind its business.
16. I sat on my phone and activated Siri. Even she screamed.
17. I tried intermittent fasting. I lasted 10 minutes.
18. My fridge has a restraining order against me.
19. My favorite sport? Competitive eating.
20. I sweat just thinking about exercise.
21. My abs are like my lost socks—missing in action.
22. I asked my doctor for a diet plan. He just handed me a mirror.
23. My treadmill is my worst enemy. Right after stairs.
24. I tried planking once. I woke up three hours later.
25. My gym playlist is just me opening snack wrappers.
26. I stepped on a scale, and it auto-updated my weight in the cloud.
27. I tried using a resistance band. It snapped and hit me.
28. My diet plan is simple: Eat cake and regret it later.
29. I walked into a buffet, and the chef gave me a fist bump.
30. My love handles have a lifetime contract.
31. I’m not addicted to food—I’m just highly committed.
32. My Fitbit asked if I was still alive.
33. I did a sit-up yesterday. It was an accident.
34. I signed up for a marathon. A Netflix marathon.
35. I tried to run, but my knees filed a complaint.
36. My dog hides when I say “walk.” He knows I won’t make it far.
37. I joined a gym once. I just never went inside.
38. My pants have a mind of their own. They refuse to fit.
39. I told my reflection to get it together. It laughed at me.
40. My biggest fear? An all-you-can-eat buffet with a time limit.
41. I tried eating a salad once. I’m still recovering.
42. My abs are in there somewhere—buried under layers of good food.
43. My shadow doesn’t even keep up with me.
44. I joined a weight loss group. We meet at a pizza place.
45. My cheat meal is just called “Tuesday.”
46. I went on a juice cleanse. Then I ate three pizzas.
47. My jeans are so tight, I can hear them scream.
48. I tried a diet once. Then I found a cookie.
49. My personal trainer quit on me.
50. I don’t need a personal trainer—I need a personal chef.

4. Food-Related & Random Fat Jokes – 100 Jokes

Food-Related Fat Jokes (50 Jokes)

1. I eat cake because it’s someone’s birthday somewhere.
2. I don’t have a sweet tooth—I have a whole sweet jaw.
3. My stomach is a food graveyard.
4. My blood type is gravy.
5. I tried eating healthy. Then my fridge called me a liar.
6. My favorite seasoning is extra.
7. The only crunches I do are in a bag of chips.
8. My salad is just a cheeseburger in disguise.
9. I ordered a diet soda… with a large pizza.
10. I eat ice cream with a fork because a spoon slows me down.
11. My diet starts every Monday. It ends every Monday too.
12. I tried drinking more water… but it left no room for snacks.
13. My favorite hobby? Turning snacks into regrets.
14. I put the ‘fat’ in ‘satisfaction.’
15. My last meal request? The entire menu.
16. I only eat organic. Organically fried, grilled, and covered in cheese.
17. My workout plan? Walking to the fridge.
18. I don’t snack—I commit to meals at all hours.
19. My stomach growled. My fridge responded.
20. My favorite fast food? Anything I eat in the car.
21. My cheat meal is every meal.
22. My diet is 80% carbs and 20% denial.
23. The only ‘well-balanced’ meal I have is one in each hand.
24. I eat cake so I don’t feel crumby.
25. I don’t count calories—I count how many plates I’ve had.
26. My breakfast is a warm-up for lunch.
27. I don’t binge-watch—I binge-eat while watching.
28. My fridge has seen me more than my gym.
29. I tried portion control. It controlled nothing.
30. The only time I run is when food is about to fall off my plate.
31. I told my diet to “wait outside.” It never came back.
32. I have three meal sizes: small, medium, and why-did-I-do-this?
33. I don’t waste food. My stomach is a recycling center.
34. My favorite number? Extra.
35. I don’t eat to live—I live to eat.
36. My snack budget is bigger than my savings.
37. I got a salad once. It was on top of my burger.
38. I tried cooking healthy. The smoke alarm disagreed.
39. I never met a buffet I didn’t love.
40. My dream job? Full-time taste tester.
41. My grocery list is just: “Yes.”
42. I eat in moderation—one meal at a time.
43. My fridge should have a revolving door.
44. My workout? Lifting food to my mouth.
45. The only weight I lift is a family-sized pizza.
46. My plate is my happy place.
47. My portion size? “Keep going.”
48. I tried meal prepping. I prepped for a snack attack.
49. My food pyramid is just layers of cheese.
50. My favorite food group? Seconds.

Random Fat Jokes (50 Jokes)

51. My belt is just for decoration now.
52. I step on my scale, and it sighs.
53. My chair has PTSD.
54. I put on my socks and lost my breath.
55. My bedsheets look like a crime scene after I roll out.
56. I tried a selfie. My double chin took the spotlight.
57. My reflection body-shames me.
58. I took the stairs once. Never again.
59. My dream car? One with a built-in fridge.
60. My personal trainer is a nap.
61. I tried CrossFit. I crossed my fingers and quit.
62. My sweatpants surrendered.
63. I sat on a bean bag, and it became a pancake.
64. My couch has a permanent dent.
65. I put my socks on, and it felt like cardio.
66. My towel barely covers me.
67. I went for a jog in my dreams.
68. My doctor said, “More water.” I heard “More butter.”
69. My seatbelt is holding on for dear life.
70. I walked past a mirror and got jump-scared.
71. I tried to suck in my stomach. My body refused.
72. My scale said, “One at a time, please.”
73. I don’t float in water—I displace it.
74. I took a deep breath, and my shirt buttons panicked.
75. I broke a sweat trying to tie my shoes.
76. My closet is full of “one-day” clothes.
77. My jeans need a break after every meal.
78. I tried running on a treadmill. The treadmill quit.
79. My fat is living rent-free.
80. I bend down, and my stomach gets in the way.
81. I took a bath, and the water level rose.
82. My popcorn bucket is never a small size.
83. My hoodie strings disappeared into my belly.
84. I lay down, and my stomach takes a vacation to the side.
85. My favorite exercise? Rolling over in bed.
86. I tried to touch my toes. I waved instead.
87. My sweatband gave up.
88. I ordered a salad… as a side to my burger.
89. My shadow has love handles too.
90. My love for food outweighs my willpower.
91. My body is a temple… that worships snacks.
92. I tried to do a jumping jack. It turned into a slow squat.
93. I can’t sneak anywhere. My belly announces my arrival.
94. My chair is holding up strong. Barely.
95. I don’t run from problems—I roll away.
96. My diet motto? “Tomorrow.”
97. My gym is too far. (It’s next door.)
98. I tried a squat challenge. I challenged myself to avoid it.
99. My abs are shy. They’re hiding.
100. My life is 90% food and 10% regretting food.

Laughter makes everything better—even cheat days!

We hope these jokes brought a smile to your face and maybe even a little extra joy to your day.

Remember, humor is all about having fun and embracing the good vibes.

Got a favorite joke? Share it with friends and spread the laughter!

Until next time—stay happy, stay hungry, and keep laughing! 😆🎉